Thursday, December 22
why cant i have anyone respect?
Posted at 03:06 pm by Brinkgurl
Sunday, December 18
No house gas for six days.
In a small town have a gas tank outside right by the house. Not same as like in Montana they pay gas bill per month. Here just pay to fill out gas outside of tank by the houses. 185 gallons even as $300.00... Pretty as Crazy!
Live hard time without gas is pretty hard. My house use gas for to heat water, house heat, and stove. It giving me so pretty hard time and survivor without heats. I was a almost 9th months pregant. No one had teach me how to know if gas running out or anything. John s family didnt teach/show John or me. (See- They never be there for us or a time to be spend time with us) John just learn and know how do that which can tell if gas soon out or anything. Who teach him? A preacher! We thanks him. Now we find what can tell us if gas run out or anything is by the % that showed on top of tank. We never knew.
For six days with no heat-We wear many clothes, many blanket on us, and use a electric heat to keep us and my baby in tummy warm.
With no Heat water- Dishes is getting so many to wash and no a good time in bath give me more relax with my back pain from carry baby in my tummy. John and I went over his aunt home to use shower two times in six days.
No Stove- All I have been eat food that which cooked by Microw that which not taste so wonderful all like just a junk to me.
No one would help us right away to fill little bit on gas. None of John s family do that. They have not been there for us or help us. Its not sound like right if they have always been there for other persons not us. NOOOT USSS. That why the reason I feel so much bad for John. We dont like to use anyone money but I m pregant I have been hard time I have to keep myself warm I carry the baby in my tummy.
Posted at 03:04 pm by Brinkgurl
why am I depressed for while.
I having been so depressed since pretty from my pregant begin. Because I m living in a small town, I have no people who have been support me. Only my future husband. I do have my own family but they live over 1,500 miles from here to Montana. I only got a small support from them is being talking on line and sent me package box or mail. There so many thing that I got learn from my sister that already have a girl. She only one in family of mine and his that have been told me about pregant health and safe. My sister know me and She just told me dont dye, dont go tan bed, dont get tattoos or periced druing pregant. I was shocked when I was up vacation in montana last summer to be with my family for 2 weeks. I mean how come i never learn from that anything around in here that where I live right now. Seem I got no support even no one being there for me. Even as no one care about me. I have been want to have me doing a right way while I m pregant but no one has told me anything until I saw my sister in Montana and she just telling me thing. I mean it turn me off and upset me since. I have been staying home mostly since I dont want to being out , Either I dont want to because of being listen to problem thing from people, and being stress me. Even I have no one to hang out that can giving me busy. My future husband have a job that work more than spend time with me. If I having my family live near or right here. I m sure 100% they will support me and making me do something than just do nothing and being upset lots. I mostly upset about my family that I wish I would see them, and having them to teach me or helping me to do something right while I m pregant but no one had been doing that here where I live. IT s really hard. My sister would come here but cant because she got her job in idaho and living with her boyfreind s family until she got a good money to earn to live on her own with boyfriend and a little girl! If I have a sister live here. Oh my I m sure she would like being my mom for a while until after little bit born.
I think that why I got being in depressed and end up stay home and might caused me to ate lots. Even I do walking lots but my back is killing me pain in butt. I mostly ate Green apple, Cheese, Yougat (strawberry w/ Banana), Ice cream Just Val.
The mostly I do at home. keep clean the house, washing dishie, play with my 2 cats, cooking for lunch and dinner for both of us, watching movie, bathing keep me more relax and clean, set up on baby new bedroom w only few thing it will be share with computer room too, go library to use internet and borrow some book, go Po office check mail, rent video place, John work visit little bit, driving, and not much.
Posted at 03:03 pm by Brinkgurl
Wednesday, December 14
From since few months, I have been living in a small town than my hometown. It went pretty hard since there s not many thing to do or to going out than I have been doing in my hometown but small town making more peaceful and easy to save money than living in my hometown (big city) kinda easy spend lots money and do lots thing. But Since i living in small town, I do pretty much nothing since I dont know where a trail to hiking around here, shopping like more than 30 miles from small town. I will upgrade and tell more about it when I got my own internet at home since I have so many save in file for BlogDrive.
Posted at 01:37 pm by Brinkgurl
Tuesday, December 13
There is only three weeks left to have a son. Pretty scare. I admit I cant wait to have my own kid but I m just too scare to being stay in hospital for nights that I never have do before. Or staying in a room more than 2 hours. I do ready to have my own kid but I m not ready to have a PAIN! I know after I born I will forget my pain and fousc on baby.
Posted at 01:43 pm by Brinkgurl
Sunday, December 4
Why am I not let anyone in my labor only just my boyfreind?
I am living in a small town in Missouri. IT called Gainesville. I have pretty much survivor without anyone who live near to help me those thing that I have been done and still thou. I have my family that would be always help and be there for me but they are live so far away more than 1.500 miles from my home. No one of my family and good friend would be get a chance to come to see me in labor to born a new baby. So it s kinda not fair, if I let John s family to watch me being in labor since my family and good freinds can't make it. Because some of my family would not have a enought to afford to come all over way to get here just to watch me labor and met thier new "grandson"/"nephew"/"Great Grandson"/"cousin". My good friends are still in High School and College. But all of them will get a chance to met my new child later whenever I got enought $ to taking airplane to fly all way over to Montana.
Other reason, Why am I not let John's family to be there while I m labor. No one of them have been help me as much like I need some help. They knows that I will be part of thier family since I m going get marry with John. Also I m carry a baby in my tummy that is thier part family too. No one of his family have come visit John and me since. They always all busy and making a excause why they re not coming. They always say I will come see visit you at your home. But never do. Like I dont care. It has been giving me so much stress and in much pain. I m pregant on 9th month now. Like I need some help. No one of them would admit or have a time. I dont know John s family as well as. They all always busy and being snob. His family always have time for other person not us. NOT US- WHY? We are not that kinda bad, we are so much angel. Always being a good at the all. We keep our alive clean. We never do anything bad like it would be againest a law. Other persons are!
So this reason why I am not feel right to have them watch me while i am in labor since I dont know them as well as, They have not been there for us, help us, and much more.
Posted at 03:05 pm by Brinkgurl
Thursday, November 24
Happy Thankgiving to my Familys, Friends, and Everyone!
Posted at 01:41 pm by Brinkgurl
Wednesday, December 22
"""""Telling why am I a big fans of Queer?"""""
Before High School, I hate gay,lesbain, and some other of nationals. I alway mean them when I going to hearing school in part of day. Because One day, there a younger teen boy (gay) name Gary was mocking me lots and getting me in trouble lots with teacher of study hall in middle school. I never see Gary with a guy making out or anything else, he telling me that he s gay and coolest gay..................
While I was in High School, at every Monday night "Queer As Folk" on Showtime TV show from 9:00pm to 9:50-10:00pm, At the time my friends and i were boring. I keep change the channel till I saw two men making out, it make me stop change and keep watching whole of time, and my friend too. I start look back in middle school and thinking is that what gay do. Beside I thou gay/lesbain s the mean person not as mean such homosexaul, I start understand what gay and lesbain are. While we watching "Queer As Folk" in back of dorm ILSP. When we see a housemother walk into living room, I change it to Weather channel or Sport channel try keep avoid from housemother know that we have been watching or we'll get in such trouble. Since few months from watch "Queer As Folk", I keep say wish see gay/lesbain in real life.........................................
Druing Spring Break 2003 from high school, I was at home (in Missoula). I got a call from Marissa to meet her at Mall to hang out. When I got there, We went game room to play. Marissa and I playing on motorcycle race, I got a problem with token stuck, I walking up to the desk to looking for a help, I saw there two girls and a boy sit by the desk. A boy stand up and talking me, I were like act show that I cant hear. He start sign so I told him what a problem of token, He went in back room to get a help. The worker come out and helping me of token stuck...............................
In Summer 2003, while my sister Hillary get break from work "Pretzel", we walking to the game room and play. Hillary and I were race on the boat. A boy stand by Hillary and talking to her. When we done with game we stand up, I waiting for Hillary to done talk with a boy. I start looking and notice that boy I know from somewhere, I don't remember. So I start sign to Hillary and asking her how many min left before for her go back to work. A boy start remember me, he start sign to me, and I remmy him. We took a lil bit chat. He telling me that his name s Josh Tryst. Later, Whenever I go Mall to see Hillary as almost everyday and I hang out with Josh lots. He told me that he s gay, It even not bother/scare me because happen in High school. I start love gay/lesbain and collect stuff of Queer As Folk, Rainbow, Gay Pride, and etc of it...............................................
In my first season of college, I took chef class in COT Missoula. I dont know how to start of that, Anyway I meet a woman name Tamiko, and She s in my cook class. We joking each other. She helping me lots in class. Later, we start a table in class where we can cut, chop, kill the food! (LOL) Before the class over of the season. It make me sad taht I might not see her anymore because I didnt pass of that class. We trade email address to keep contact. While Christmas Break, I start think what i did do in first season, I start notice that Tamiko's lesbain but I dont know and dont say about it. In my second season, Fanilly I see Tamiko almost every Monday / Wedensday / Firday. Once she asked me to eat with her and her classmate. Early of Spring, I talked her on MSN Messange, She asked me "do I know that she s lesbain, I told her " I knew and notice it not bother me at the all."
Posted at 07:15 pm by Brinkgurl
Wednesday, October 20
My real sister Hillary just got her baby last night.
First Name: Memory
Last Name Randall
Date: Oct 20, 2004
Weight: 6lbs 15oz
Health: YES VERY
First Labor pain: 7:54am
I woke up at around 630am and running up to hospital by 7am. Hillary Have been there 6am to TONIGHT ll be out. I have been there all day but afternoon went home to check email and grab some lunch food and come back. waiting for baby to come out and being around with her--for her. Hillary have been scare to born a baby, I ask her if she scare, she say yes I dont want to born. I said do u wanna to see baby? she say yes I said have to born, She say I know but it s HURTS! I say I know but I m scare if i m going get one too. Later nothing baby till 6pm so I just leave to Ms. May's sign language class till around 7pm and little after late of 7pm But I speed up when I driving way to hospital Like 60-80mph Guess what I see some police around but didnt pull me out.(whew) so when i enter the hospital and i saw wait room of men in my family memeber, I saw my papa say go to room, Hillary need you now. so I running fast as I can, I arrive and I saw baby half way out of mommy tummy. Hillary were talking to me while the baby were half way so making her clam down and push hard more. I was so happy. Few second later, Pam (Hillary's boyfriend Tony MOM) cry, I look at her and asking why are you cry is there something wrong wtih baby is she die? (Becuase I cant heard at the all what doctor/nurse say). Pam say NO NO NO NO I M HAPPY. I turn left side look at my mom and grandma they cry too I were say oh must be happy either. Few min later I start cry. Baby were so Beautiful! Awww...... When I hold that baby, I sign say I LOVE YOU to her. Hillary start cried. I told Pam, and my mom " you grandma now hahah and being old and grandm at the early age.. HAHAH" many joking to them then they told me You 1# BRATS AUNT too hahah then I shut up already...
Posted at 10:18 pm by Brinkgurl
Sunday, May 9
I m going to tell about my friend that which are straight and unstraight.
Straight people always meet at mall before do/go anywhere other else. They really had lots of rumor sometime they add make up on the rumors. Really snob and shy around. About 50% open mind. Have lots of aruge about hot chick/guy! They alway making fun of people around them and really not nice to people too. Staying in one place and chatting not walking or travel around like in missoula or town to chatting Just like at one of freind house and chatting or at 4bs/Dennys. Really had few joke and not like to make up the story for to telling people about story and had them laughing thier butt off..
Unstraight people always meet at everywhere and have fun. Really open mind and doing anything than being close mind plus not that much shy/snob. Not really have lots of argue always accpect who peopel are or what they doing. Also have always help people who have some hurt or problem. All of them are always as family support each other and keep in closer contact. Always keep busy doing in missoula as travel in there shopping whatever... Chatting not in one place. Really had lots of funny joke and they do make up the story for to telling. They really love to be together doing something not just least 2 it can be more least 20 people. Love to travel whole the world as groupies.
Posted at 03:35 pm by Brinkgurl